Yes, I know this title sounds heavy. As it should. These are *really* big questions. But, they are questions well worth considering TODAY. Because we never know if we have tomorrow. And if we may not have tomorrow, how do we want to be remembered? More importantly, how do we want our children to remember us?
In an email last week, I asked people to think about this and repsond. I expected to be flooded with replies. I wasn’t. Now, I know people are really busy. But I think the reason I didn’t get a ton of replies was this: We are too busy to stop. We don’t take the opportunity to pause for a moment to think about what we are doing, where we are going, who we want to become.
There is just too much to do everyday to stop and think about our own legacy. But, here’s the thing. Your legacy is being shaped and formed everyday, regardless of whether or not you stop and think about what you’re doing to mold it.
When I run around like a chicken with my head cut off in sweaty workout clothes for 6 hours straight, that’s part of my legacy. When I moan and groan about things I can’t control, that’s part of my legacy. When I make a business move to grow and expand (even if it scares the crap outta me), that’s part of my legacy. Every choice we make, good or bad is part of who we are and part of how we will be remembered.
A couple of my friends posted this excellent article on Facebook last week, “Nurse Reveals the Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Death Bed.” Here’s the list:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I have read this list over and over. I think I need to post it next to my bed. It makes me a little teary every time I read it. I have my own list of what my regrets would be if I were to die now. Some are similar to items above. Some are different. I have to say I make a very conscious choice to not live with regret. I really do consider this as I make personal and professional decisions. But I am not perfect (even though I REALLY want to be, dammit!!)
One of the questions I asked in my email last week was, “What do you want your legacy to your kids to be?” Here are a couple of the replies I got:
“For them to be happy and healthy, to be in loving, respectful relationships and to know that people are always more important than things. To laugh – a lot and often. To be kind and to do what’s right, even if it’s really hard to do. And know that it’s never too late to make something right.”
“Family – the value of an unconditional loving supportive family that stands by you, loves you, protects you and supports you.”
Next I asked, “What words do you want do you want your kids to use to describe you when you are no longer around?” Replies included: Loving, Compassionate, Energetic, Dedicated, Supportive, Honest, Caring, Helpful, Devoted. Some of these were mentioned over and over. I love it that moms speak a common language and desire to be remembered in the same ways!
Lastly, I asked, “What do you want your kids to say about how you impacted their health and lifestyle habits?” I think this is a really important question. For the first time ever, the current generation of children are being given a shorter life expectancy than us adults. This is because of the explosion of healthy concerns for young people today. They are being diagnosed with diabetes, cancer, heart disease and other chronic (and terminal) health conditions at unbearably young ages. This is a direct reflection of the health and lifestyle habits (or lack thereof) that we, as a society, have given them.
I am so grateful that my readers are aware of this and know to pass on a better legacy of health and wellness than most of the country. I LOVE the replies I got to this question, as they were honest and raw and REAL:
“I hope they learned from me that leading a healthy life is a journey.”
“That I taught them to make healthy choices for eating and that life is about balance.”
“I hope I’ve helped my daughters understand that health is not about vanity, but about quality of life and that quality of life is far more important than vanity.”
“I have taught them you can enjoy life and be healthy at the same time. You CAN have it all.”
“You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be willing to work hard, accept the struggles and get back up when you get off track. “
“While I may not have always modeled an active lifestyle that I always stressed the importance of being active.”
“I hope they saw me exercise, watched me struggle and get back up, watched me eat healthy and strived to be healthy.”
“I think I have modeled the importance of balance: work, play, eat, rest, run, love, grow, evolve.”
Wow. So much wisdom here. And the true beauty of it all…. It’s not too late to change your legacy starting today. Starting now, in this very moment, you have the power to be better and stronger and change the way your kids see you and the way they see the world. My client, Kimball, shared this video with me today and it so beautifully exemplifies how you can change your life, change your destiny and change your legacy at any age.
Grow. Evolve. Live. For you. For your kids.
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