Ok, so you may have heard me mention a time or two that I adore Bethenny Frankel. From the standpoint of an entrepreneur turned wife turned mom (all in about 12 months, no less) the lady is the bees knees. Regardless of what you think about her past on the Real Housewives of NY or her super skinny sassiness (her skinniness may be a bit much, but her sassiness is right up my alley), the lady is pure genius when it comes to being a women who OWNS & EMBRACES herself, for better or worse.
I didn’t learn about Bethenny until she was already married and I came across her show, Bethenny Ever After, one lazy Sunday morning. I got sucked in and have been pretty much stalking her ever since. She is my Oprah and one day, when she has her own talk show (which is already in the works), I will be on it and we will talk about this blog post. Mark. My. Words.
Ok, but this post was not intended to be a Bethenny love fest – sometimes I just get carried away…
What I really want to write about is Bethenny’s book, Naturally Thin. I just read it and, as a trainer and fitness author to moms, I think Bethenny offers some awesome take home messages on weight loss for moms, and women’s weight loss, in general. That said, some of her Naturally Thin ways lean a little toward the neurotic side, but I can see her intentions and the strength of her philosophy. I thought it would be helpful to show you, my mamas, how to use Bethenny’s Naturally Thin ways to find YOUR naturally thin self. I think you’ll find this to be some really good advice.
The premise of Naturally Thin is that you can live your life eating everything you love. You do not need to “diet” ever again. You can have your cake and eat it too. Just not all your cake, everyday. Like I preach in my 6 Week Pregnancy Weight Loss Program , for a weight loss program to be sustainable, you must learn to eat in moderation and use food as fuel. It is ok to indulge here & there if you are prepared to control yourself in other instances. You know by now that I think “cheating” is a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle.
Most of all it’s about balance and not being a slave to food – or a victim to food, for that matter.
Here is my take on Bethenny’s 10 principle or rules, as she calls them, for being Naturally Thin for the rest of your life.
1. “Your Diet Is a Bank Account”
I love this idea that you have an account when it comes to food. As you make choices throughout the day your account goes up and down. At the end of the day you have to balance your books, so to speak. So, if you’ve chosen something indulgent for lunch, you can have a light and lean dinner to balance your account. This is an excellent way to view eating. This is a healthier mindset than indulging and letting yourself blow off the rest of the day because, “what’s the point, I already messed up once today….”
I think this is so important for moms struggling with weight loss. It’s easy to get swept away by your day and just resign yourself to starting over tomorrow/next week/next month. This bank account concept allows you to constantly take stock of your choices throughout the day and balance the situation as much as needed from meal to meal, snack to snack.
2. “You Can Have It All, Just Not All at Once”
This may be my favorite Naturally Thin principle. This pretty much takes away the mentality of dieting and deprivation. You CAN eat what you want, but because you’re trying to keep your “account” balanced, you can’t eat everything you want all at the same time. Bear in mind, if you know you can eat want you want, you will not be tempted to eat it all at once, because you will remove that frantic feeling that you can never “cheat” again. For example, you may have a few chips with lunch, but along with your chips you’re going to have a big salad and a half a chicken breast. No need to feel bad about the chips, because you balance them with the rest of the meal. At dinner, you may have a small portion of pasta, alongside broccoli and pork tenderloin. No need to worry about a few bites of pasta when it’s paired with some lean protein and veggies.
Like I talk about in this FHM post on protein , protein is essential for making you full and keeping you full. So, if you’re indulging, just be sure to have some protein with your indulgence so you don’t go overboard. This feeds right into Naturally Thin philosophy #3.
3. “Taste Everything, Eat Nothing”
This rule is the most fun one. I mean, who doesn’t want to taste EVERYTHING?! I had a roommate in college who constantly asked, “Can I have a bite?” when she was around others eating. I have to admit it made me a little crazy at times (probably because this was the middle of my fat free phase of life and I protected my food like a mama bear protects her cubs.) But she was really on to something. She would rarely order anything indulgent herself. She would just have bites of everyone else’s. Very smart move.
The idea behind this rule is that you can order whatever you want or make whatever you want and then only have a little bit of it. When you make/order those indulgent choices do NOT eat the whole thing, but allow yourself a bite of two where you really notice and appreciate the taste/texture of the indulgence. In this way you are never denying yourself of your favorite things, you’re just eating very little of them. You are SO much less likely to binge on these items later if you do this.
Now, be careful here. You will have to fill up on other healthy choices at your meals & snacks so you’re not tempted to throw caution to the wind and indulge in an ENTIRE piece of cake or bowl of pasta every time you allow yourself one bite. So, again, back to the protein and veggies. Fill up on volume foods like a big bowl of salad before you have your tastes. Be sure to have a decent about of protein if you’re going to allow those few bites of dessert. I will say, while this rule can be a lot of fun, it can also be a very slippery slope. You really need to take into account Rule #8 when applying this rule.
4. “Pay Attention”
This is such an important piece of advice when it comes to food. Sadly, it’s easily lost on almost everyone. Moms are in such go, go, go mode all the time, there is little time and attention devoted to food and fullness. This rule tells you to sloooooow down. Take notice of your food prep. Sit down to eat. Chew slowly. Put your fork down between bites. Notice taste and texture. Notice how as you start to feel full taste and texture are not as pleasurable – that’s a great time to STOP eating, by the way.
I’m as guilty as anyone else when it comes to choking down food as fast as possible. In fact, my husband walked into the kitchen the other night as I was literally hunched over the sink gagging on a sardine. No, not because they are gross – I think they’re yummy! But because I was eating so fast I didn’t fully chew one bite before taking the next, pretty much mimicking the way my dog eats. I had come home from work starving, I still had 17 things to do before bed and I was just trying to cram in some dinner as quickly as possible. Sound familiar?
In this chapter of Naturally Thin, I love Bethenny’s advice to become a food snob. I totally agree with her. Notice as you start to feel full your food looks less appealing. Notice those around you stuffing their faces. Notice how others hoover food. Don’t be like that. See if you can be the slowest eater at the table. For Pete’s sake, chew your sardines well. Put your fork down. Take a break between bites.
This rule alone will dramatically reduce how much food you intake and assist you enormously in becoming Naturally Thin!
5. “Downsize Now!”
I’m pretty sure Bethenny stole this rule from me. I’m going to have to talk to her about this. If you’ve done my 6 Week Pregnancy Weight Loss Program then you know I’m all about downsizing. Once you start implementing Rule # 4, Pay Attention, you’ll automatically notice how HUGE portions have become. So, starting now, you must downsize.
For the most part, anytime you eat a full entrée at a restaurant you have eaten more than a full serving size of everything on your plate. In some cases you’ve eaten 6 TIMES an intended serving size. In know, totally disgusting.
Our vision of serving sizes is horrendously skewed in this country. So, you must being to really Pay Attention to help you start downsizing. Notice how little you can eat and feel full. I recently got and email from a 6 Week PWL client who said, “I can’t believe how little I can eat a dinner now and feel completely full and satisfied. I was easily eating double the quantity before this and I didn’t even notice I was full.” This client went on to lose 10 pounds in the first 4 weeks of the program, primarily from DOWNSIZING.
Bethenny’s other excellent piece of advice (also most certainly “borrowed” from me, haha) is to use smaller plates and bowls. This tricks your mind into think you’re eating a large, full sized serving, when you’re actually eating a fraction of what you’d eat off a full sized dinner plate or out of a full sized bowl.
At our house I only eat off our salad plates. This allows me to totally fill my plate at each meal, but no actually overeat. This makes a big difference psychologically. I don’t feel full if I put small portions on a big plate. I feel kind of cheated out of a big meal. If you’re a “Volume Eater” like me, you know how this feels.
6. “Cancel Your Membership in the Clean Plate Club”
We’ve already covered that portion sizes are out of control everywhere you go, so there’s no reason to ever clean your plate. Additionally, when you eat at home, you likely fill your plate with more food that you need. So, Bethenny says, and I concur, get rid of that membership to the Clean Plate Club. There is nothing to win by eating every last bite – except a full uncomfortable belly, followed by guilt and frustration that you overate. Again.
I’ll admit, this can be a struggle, especially if you’re eating out and you’re feeling indulgent. I try to recognize as soon as possible when I’m starting to feel full. Then I put my fork down and wait a moment to give my head a moment to Pay Attention to my body. Then, without thinking about it for too long, I put my napkin over my leftover food. This takes away the visual temptation. I’ve also been known to dump a bunch of salt over my food if I think I’m going to be tempted to go back to it. This is a great trick with desserts. A half eaten piece of cake with a bunch of salt on it is no longer tempting or tasty!
This leads perfectly into Rule #7. . .
7. “Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself”
When you’re in the middle of that cake and you know you should stop, but DAMN, it’s just so good . . . Enter Rule #7: CHECK YOURSELF. If you continue to eat beyond fullness you will feel gross, guilty, disgusting, discouraged, frustrated, angry. Overeating can ruin your entire meal and your entire day. Checking yourself and making a conscious choice to STOP, can be empowering. You will walk away from that meal feeling really good physically and emotionally.
Having these moments of success, where you conquer your plate are huge. These moments are where you learn to make long term changes because you have proven to yourself YOU CAN DO IT. From there it’s a matter of practicing over and over again when faced with temptation. But once you do it one time, you CAN do it again and again. This is a necessary and significant part of the process of becoming Naturally Thin.
8. “Know Thyself”
Bethenny does a great job emphasizing the ineffectiveness of dieting. She uses all these rules to create a healthy relationship with food, so you can enjoy the things you love without puttin’ on the pounds. I appreciate that she is also a realist. In order to successful become and stay Naturally Thin, you must Know Thyself.
If you know how you operate around certain foods, you may know that you simply can’t have them around. For example, I can eat dessert when I’m out and I can even limit myself to a few bites and then put the fork down. However, in the comfort of my own home, my body knows no boundaries when it comes to baked goods. Sure, I can eat just half a brownie at a time. But if there’s a plate of brownies in my kitchen I WILL eat a half a brownie EVERY time I walk through the kitchen. And I will find infinite reasons to enter the kitchen if there is a plate of brownies sitting there.
Because I Know Thyself, brownies are not allowed in my house. If they appear for a party or event, they are in the garbage or out the door with a guest as the event comes to a close. It MUST be that way.
You may be that way with chips. Can you let a bag sit in the cupboard, eating a small handful at a time. Or do you find yourself overwhelming compelled to snuggle up with the whole bag and eat the heck out of it?
You must Know Thyself and formulate your own rules and regulations around that. You do not need to diet. You do not need to get rid of any one food forever, but in Knowing Thyself, you will need to put some boundaries on yourself to become and stay Naturally Thin.
9. “Get Real”
Amen Sister! Like me, Bethenny promotes REAL food over processed food. I talk about this ad nauseum at Fit Healthy Moms . In order to be Naturally Thin, you have to eat REAL food. I don’t know anyone who eats fakey “diet” food and has long term, sustainable weight loss. The true results of long term use of “diet” foods (those that are artificially flavored or sweetened to reduce calories), and processed foods in general, are typically a dysfunctional metabolism, a compromised thyroid and an increased risk of many types of cancer. Not really worth a few saved calories or a few minutes of time (the reason most people grab processed foods over whole, fresh foods).
So, for the sake of your body and your long term health you want to eat REAL, whole foods comprised of real, recognizable ingredients.
It is also incredibly important that you model the eating of whole, nutritious, REAL foods to your kids. They are the first generation with a LOWER life expectancy than you and me due to the horrendous effects of our food and environment on their bodies. How scary is that?! If you want your kids to live longer than you, you must take charge of this situation for you family.
This doesn’t mean you can never have another Dorito. It just means, that for the most part you (like 80% of the time) you will eat foods that fuel and feed the needs your body. Not foods that break it down.
10. Good For You
This last principle is actually a hard one, because it involves self care. Do what is GOOD FOR YOU. Not an easy thing for moms to do. But like Bethenny says, you need to take care of yourself. There will be days, ok many days, when you could have done more to eat well, workout, sleep more, but heck, do what you can each day and try to make a teeny, tiny bit better than the day before.
What I like best about this principle is it allows you to let go of your food noise, your scale noise, your guilt noise. Let all that go and make choices about what is good for you. That doesn’t mean be perfect, it just means be aware. If you make a less desirable choice at one point during the day, let it go and make a choice that is good for you later in the day.
Remember, it has been scientifically proven that you make over 200 decision a day that effect your weight. So, for the most part, try to make choices that are Good For You when it comes to food, exercise, sleep, caffeine, and alcohol. Remember to Pay Attention, Know Thyself and Check Yourself before you Wreck Yourself. All of this will help you Balance Your Bank Account. All these princples are tightly woven. So if you just choose a couple to start to work on, you’ll find the others happening on their own.
I would argue that being Naturally Thin is more a mindset than anything else. I don’t mean that thinking thin will make you thin. But if you start to treat yourself well and live by these principles, you will shed weight because you will improve your relationship with food and break free from the ties that bind when it comes to consumption. It may not happen overnight, but little by little it will happen if you allow yourself to participate in the process.
I know some people think Bethenny’s tips are a little over the top. I have adapted them a bit to make them reasonable, I think. Leave a comment at the end of the post and let me know if you think these are tips you can live by.
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