Many of you have read about my personal weight loss journey. In my early adulthood, I took it upon myself to shed weight that I carried for my entire childhood. Most of the weight caught up with me at about 17, but I was never small. I was never petite. I was never athletic. I was never picked first for any team. I always had a belly. I always hid beneath oversized clothes. I was always bigger than most, if not all, of my friends. I always dreaded PE. I always looked forward to watching TV. I always looked forward to after school snacks (typically Doritos and Kraft Singles). I always looked forward to dinner (typically something out of a box or out of the freezer – mac ‘n cheese and tator tots – yum!)
I lived with a lot of dread: running in PE, putting on a bathing suit in front of friends in the summer, putting on a bathing suit in front of all my skinny, athletic cousins, not being “cute” like my smaller friends, not being athletic enough like my sporty, popular friends – and most of all I dreaded being teased. There were a few other girls who were teased relentlessly about their weight all through grade school and junior high. They were really nice girls I had been in school with since kindergarten. One of our classmates, Jeff, taunted them mercilessly. I was always worried I would be next. In fact, over the years, I distanced myself from them, as did others. It was safer that way. I’m not proud of that at all. But it’s what you do when you’re a nervous kid with poor body image.
I think I escaped the teasing because I was just sassy enough to hold my own. And maybe that was my protection.
Whatever the case may be, I can tell you that kids who are bullied or teased for any reason live a REALLY rough life. I am so grateful this never became my fate. And I wish I would have stood up to Jeff. I always wanted to find a way to make him feel as small as he made others feel. Now I can recognize that he probably bullied these girls because he felt small and insecure. There’s a part of me that wants him to still feel that way – even though I haven’t seen him in 22 years. It still makes my stomach hurt to think of how he treated these girls.
According to the Centers for Disease Control 17% of kids are obese. That’s 1 out of every 5-6 kids. This is not okay for many reasons. I could preach on and on about the health ramifications and the risks of childhood obesity. But I’d really like to just point out the social ramifications. Creating an environment for your kids that allows them to be overweight can destroy them from the inside out. Being harassed and bullied at school because of your size and appearance has life long ramifications. Heck, I wasn’t even bullied and my overweight childhood has had lifelong ramifications. Your child sees himself the way others see him. If others see him as small and insignificant, he will see himself that way. If your daughter is told she’s ugly and fat she will see herself that way for years to come – even if it’s nowhere near the truth.
Kids who are bullied and belittled struggle in their existence everyday. Not only do they live in fear, they try to be invisible – because invisible is safe. If people can’t see you, they can’t make fun of you. That means these kids are less likely to raise their hands in class. They are less likely to participate in group activities, sports and otherwise. They are less likely to try out for teams, the school band, the spring play, or anything else where they may be rejected or laughed at. They are less likely to be confident and assertive with their opinions and beliefs. They are less likely to stand up for themselves or others. They are less likely to engage with their peers. All of them makes it harder for them to enter the world as adults. They haven’t had the chance to practice. The real world seems huge and scary. Continuing to be invisible still seems like the safest bet.
Is this what you want for your child? Are you creating habits at home that are leading your child down a path toward obesity or being overweight? I’ve always said, if my mom tried to change our diet from mac ‘n cheese to grilled chicken breast, she would have had a litany on her hands. But it would have been worth the fight. I probably would have starved for approximately 1.5 days and given in to the damn chicken. I don’t blame my mom at all for how she fed us – it was the 80’s, many kids were fed out of boxes of freezer foods. We didn’t know what we know now. But I do know this – my kids will have a different relationship with food than I did. They will look forward to soccer practice after school not Doritos and reruns of Eight is Enough. They will participate in sports to give them confidence and self worth and to instill the values of teamwork and collaboration and WINNING at something in life – as well as losing with grace.
A friend of mine sent me this article last week about Mission:FITPossible, “a group of University of Maryland students who are working with medical experts from Children’s National Medical Center and professionals from the United Way Foundation, to combat the childhood obesity epidemic in Silver Spring, Md., through fun games that fuse education and fitness.” The goal of this group is:
1. Challenge Yourself
2. Balance Yourself
3. Be Yourself
Pretty cool. These principles are appropriate for any kid of any size. The education that this program is providing through games is really cool. I think it’s likely that these kids will be going home and educating their parents on healthy eating- which is AWESOME. But shouldn’t it be the other way around? Don’t you have a duty to provide your kids with healthy meals and snacks. I know it’s not easy with all the INSANE misinformation we have out there. It’s easy to think that 100 Calorie Snack Packs, LunchAbles and Whole Grain Fruit Loops are healthy, given the way they are marketed. So, I implore you to honor your children by educating yourself about nutritious eating. You’re not just giving them their health, you’re giving them a foundation from which they will feel proud in their own skin. You are giving them a platform to feel confident enough to try new things and engage with their peers with passion and enthusiasm. You are making sure they never want to feel invisible. Because nothing feels worse than wanting to disappear.
How do you educate your kids on healthy eating and healthy living? Comment below to help the parents who want to become better educators.
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