Do you compare yourself to other women? I do. I know, it’s not healthy, but it’s also very human. It is part of our culture. I try really hard NOT to do it, but little voices come creeping in my head, just like I’m sure they do yours.
Sometimes I have to yell really loud and tell them to, “SHUT UP!”
Comparing yourself to others gets no one anywhere. It’s a waste of energy. It’s a waste of time. Sometimes it can serve as motivation, “I’d love to have her shoulders.” But more often than not it’s just a means of beating ourselves up, “If I was more disciplined, I could look like her.”
I’ve spent years trying to stop this mental game. And I’ve gotten so much better with my own self talk. I really work to identify the things I like about myself and my body. I even try to turn the things I’m not so fond of into things to be grateful for – like my wide hips that will help me give birth easily (I hope!!) and my thick thighs that allow me to squat heavy (love that I’m strong – so I’ll take the thighs.)
I think the words at the top of this post sum it up well:
START WHERE YOU ARE.
USE WHAT YOU HAVE.
DO WHAT YOU CAN.
On any given day you are thrown different circumstances and your starting place is different – different than any other person. Each day is YOUR day and only YOU know what you’re in store for. So accept where you are at and make decisions from there.
Yesterday I was exhausted. I had three nights in a row of poor sleep. I wanted to workout, but I didn’t have a lot of mental strength or physical prowess to push myself. I let myself fall back on a simple go-to workout routine (Tabatas) and picked exercises I think are fun. I pushed to about 80% and shortened my workout to about half the length of my normal Wednesday workout. I STARTED WHERE I WAS AT, USED WHAT I HAD AND DID WHAT I COULD.
There have been other days when I have just skipped workouts entirely because I’ve thought I was too tired or didn’t have enough time. And then I’ve felt frustrated and guilty. For me, it is always better to get something in rather than nothing. I never regret TRYING a workout. I always regret skipping one.
In a quest to be happy with myself, I’ve come to focus on practicing being better every day. I use the word “practice” very intentionally. It’s not about being perfect and it’s not about being as good as someone else. It’s about practicing being a better version of myself each day. During my pregnancy, everyday is a bit of a learning experience – learning where my body is at for the day and then practicing to be my best given what I have in that moment (or in that workout.)
See how your mind shifts if you practice STARTING WHERE YOU ARE, USING WHAT YOU HAVE and DOING WHAT YOU CAN for a few days. You may find some relief. You may find some mental clarity. You may find that in allowing yourself to just practice a little each day, you no longer need to beat yourself up over not being perfect.
START WHERE YOU ARE.
USE WHAT YOU HAVE.
DO WHAT YOU CAN.
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